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By dani @ www.nubs.org OBJECTIVE: DISCUSSING A PROBLEM WHILE SUBLIMINALLY INSULTING THEM AND STAYING ON A "PROFESSIONAL" LEVEL... Leigh G.: Daniel? daniel: yeah. Leigh G.: Thank you, what technical issue may we assist you with? daniel: for the past few weeks, my cable has been disconnecting a lot lately. daniel: i was wondering if my modem needs replacing or if this is just an area issue. Leigh G.: When you lose your connection, do you notice a change in the status of the lights on the cable modem? daniel: yes, i am more knowledgable about my modem than you think i am. daniel: the "CABLE" light goes out, i have to unplug and replug the power Leigh G.: I didn't say you weren't knowledgeable, Daniel. daniel: and it will eventually connect again daniel: well, on to the subject. Leigh G.: How often does this issue occur? daniel: much often Leigh G.: Much often? daniel: at the most severe instances, i would only be able to stay online for five minutes Leigh G.: We then recommend contacting our phone technical support at 713-335-3278 or 866-491-3045 when this issue next occurs to reach a technician who will be able to troubleshoot this issue, as we cannot troubleshoot issues of this nature through Technical Chat, for obvious reasons. daniel: oh. daniel: great. daniel: thanks for the phone number daniel: disconnected Leigh G.: disconnected Daniel: xxxxxxxx xxx, xxx xxx xxxx Daniel: This is her son speaking. Daniel B.: Thank you, what technical issue may we assist you with? Daniel: I just contacted another live chat support technician just a moment ago regarding my frequent disconnections with my cable modem Daniel: but I've found this on your website, "Red 7/19/2004 7:04 PM SUGARLAND Road Runner is currently experiencing issues with the cable network. Subscribers in the affected area(s) may experience a loss of connectivity, usually indicated by flashing modem lights and/or a loss of video services. Our engineers are working quickly to resolve this issue. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause. Daniel: I was wondering when it will be fully repaired. Daniel B.: I unfortunately cannot provide an estimated time of repair, our engineers are working quickly to resolve this issue. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause. Daniel B.: Are there any other technical issues we may assist you with? Daniel: Yeah. I want to know if this strange disconnecting problem of mine is related at all to my router. Daniel: I am sure my router is not defective in any way, but when I plug the CAT5 from the modem to my router, the disconnections become more frequent. Daniel: That is, in contrary to just directly connecting the modem to my computer. Daniel: which gives me less frequent disconnects. Daniel B.: When did you last loose connection? Daniel: Not more than an hour ago. Daniel: I'm using the direct-connect method now, and it has become more subtle. Daniel B.: Your modem has been up for... Daniel B.: Uptime (DD:HH:MM:SS): 0:02:36:24 Daniel: oh Daniel: Time flies. Daniel B.: Any disconnects that have occured within the last 2 1/2 hours were not on our end. Daniel: Alright, so would it be better if I hooked up my router to the modem. Daniel: , and contact you back? Daniel B.: I suggest you leave things connected directly as we cannot troubleshoot or escalate any issues while 3rd party equipement (like a router) is connected to the modem. Daniel: I run a four-computer network and require them to be connected to the internet as fast as possible. Daniel: So, are you assuring me that this isn't an area-affected issue and just a loose wire in my router? Daniel: A few of my peers have had the same problems. Daniel B.: No, considering the issue is posted on our network status page, it IS an area wide issue. Daniel: YOU LIE! Daniel: I'll be back. Daniel: disconnected Daniel B.: disconnected Steven S: Thank you for choosing Road Runner Technical Chat. My name is Steven S. May we have the first and last name, and the phone number with the area code of the master account holder? You: xxxxxxx xxx, xxx xxx xxxx Steven S: Thank you, and with whom am I speaking currently? You: I'm her son. You: What the hell is going on with my cable. You: The status page reports that the connectivity problems in my area (Sugarland) has been repaired or "closed." Steven S: Are you referring to your cable tv access or Road Runner service? You: But early this morning and just recently, I've been disconnecting a lot. You: Road runner, of course. You: I wouldn't be surprised if this modem died on me right now during our conversation Steven S: So you are experiencing an intermittent connection? You: Yeah. You: I've gone through two other tech supporters this week, and they haven't given me anything good. You: Hopefully I'm lucky today. Steven S: How long have you had this problem for? You: This entire month, basically. You: I'm starting to hate cable. Steven S: What time of day do you lose your connection, is there any pattern to when the connection drops or is it random? ......I GOT FUCKING DISCONNECTED BEFORE I COULD RESPOND!!!!!!!!$# Sandra: Thank you for choosing Road Runner Technical Chat. My name is Sandra. May we have the first and last name, and the phone number with the area code of the master account holder? You: xxxxxx xxx, xxx xxx xxxx You: This is her son speaking. Sandra: Thank you, and with whom am I speaking currently? You: I was just talking to this douche on this live chat support thing about my zero-to-none connectivity with my modem. Sandra: Thank you, what technical issue may we assist you with? You: Until I disconnected. Sandra: Please work with me on a professional level and I'll be happy to help you. If not, I'll be forced to discontinue this session. How may we assist you? You: Well, I am working on a professional level. You: Obviously Roadrunner is not because I am disconnecting crazily. You: Mind if I send the transcript I saved? You: From my interrupted session... Sandra: One moment please. Sandra: Thank you for holding. Due to the nature of this issue, it would be difficult to troubleshoot with you over technical chat. You can try our phone support at the following number: 866-491-3045 or 713-335-3278. You: Oh please, just handle it. You: Before my internet disconnects, which will force me to get another technician. Sandra: You are going to lose the connection. Then you will need to contact us again and again to get this resolved. You: We can hope for the best. You: I won the lottery last week. LUCK IS ON MY SIDE!! You: Just read what I said to "Steven S." You: Steven S: Thank you for choosing Road Runner Technical Chat. My name is Steven S. May we have the first and last name, and the phone number with the area code of the master account holder? You: xxxxxxx xxx, xxx xxx xxxx Steven S: Thank you, and with whom am I speaking currently? You: I'm her son. You: What the hell is going on with my cable. You: The status page reports that the connectivity problems in my area (Sugarland) has been repaired or "closed." Steven S: Are you referring to your cable tv access or Road Runner service? You: But early this morning and just recently, I've been disconnecting a lot. You: Road runner, of course. You: I wouldn't be surprised if this modem died on me right now during our conversation Steven S: So you are experiencing an intermittent connection? You: Yeah. You: I've gone through two other tech supporters this week, and they haven't given me anything good. You: Hopefully I'm lucky today. Steven S: How long have you had this problem for? You: This entire month, basically. You: I'm starting to hate cable. Steven S: What time of day do you lose your connection, is there any pattern to when the connection drops or is it random? Sandra: Okay. You: Answering the question he left off: Yes and no. It IS random, but it occurs the most at early in the morning (3-5 AM). You: I don't know if that's the time where Roadrunner repairs their connectivity issues, but I clearly think I shouldn't be disconnecting during the daytime. Sandra: Have you rebooted your modem since this started happening? To reboot your modem, you unplug it from the power for two full minutes, then plug it back into the power outlet. You: I know the tricks. You: And I've tried them all. You: Cable is THE DEVIL! You: Any other suggestions? You: How about some steroids on those so-called technicians you have working on my case in Sugarland. You: I was happy to see it reported as "closed," but it is merely the opposite. Sandra: Again, if you have a technical question I'll be happy to help you. Otherwise, we'll need to discontinue this session now. You: I just asked you one. You: Do you have any other suggestions, other than simply rebooting my modem? You: And an honorable mention is that you're my fourth tech support I've talked to. You: No luck yet. Maybe next time. You: Will you respond? Or am I just hanging here because my cable has died once again... You: Fuck, it did. I HATE ROADRUNNER. p s kayy: you have to talk on a professional level danieL on aiM: professional level danieL on aiM: i wonder whta thoes bitches can do danieL on aiM: if they can access my cable uptime danieL on aiM: i wonder if they can turn it off if i make them mad enough p s kayy: loll danieL on aiM: shit danieL on aiM: i'm gonna do that right now p s kayy: LOL p s kayy: you're like it keeps disconnection early in the onring p s kayy: 3 - 5 am p s kayy: i bet they're wondering what the hell you do up so late p s kayy: lol danieL on aiM: beat off to naked men danieL on aiM: LOL danieL on aiM: JeNNy YiM p s kayy: LOL danieL on aiM: this is her duaghter speaking danieL on aiM: i'm gonna hve fun danieL on aiM: brb -------------------------------------------------------- Kevin H.: Thank you for choosing Road Runner Technical Chat. My name is Kevin H.. May we have the first and last name, and the phone number with the area code of the master account holder? You: heLLo~~~```` You: xXxxX XxXx You: 281 313 oneone53 Kevin H.: And the phone number with the area code of the master account holder? You: i juzt gave it 2 yooh, sillyy You: LLoL Kevin H.: Thank you, and with whom am I speaking currently? You: iM hurr doter Kevin H.: Thank you, what technical issue may we assist you with? You: lyk...ive bEen on aIM (u kno dat IM stuff) nd talkin 2 mai boyfriend and ish You: butT~~~` mai cable lite kepz go offz You: kan u help meEh`/ You: itz lyk disconnektinG Kevin H.: Please type in a legible manner. You: Dood legible maner is 4 fagz. Kevin H.: When the connection drops what lights if any change on the modem? You: YA! da top wun Kevin H. Has Disconnected Evil. John H.: Thank you for choosing Road Runner Technical Chat. My name is John H.. May we have the first and last name, and the phone number with the area code of the master account holder? You: xxxxxx xxx xxx xxx xxxx, yo You: i gots a problem, dawg John H.: Thank you, and with whom am I speaking currently? You: i be hurr son John H.: Thank you, what technical issue may we assist you with? You: man, nigga You: i was on this site about some dro and shiet You: then my cable disconnects You: it's been doin' this ish a lot oy You: you know what im sayin'? You: it's just whack, nigga John H.: Yes, yes I do. You: can ya help a brotha out? John H.: Let's see what we can do. You: my modem or somethin is goin crazy, yo John H.: Which lights on the modem change when you lose your connection? You: da top one bro You: it be sayin' "CABLE" on it You: now, don't get me wrong fool You: i know that's the one daz supposed to stay on dawg You: but it ain't You: its shittin' on me, yo John H.: Ok. Did you check the Network Status for your area to see if there are any network issues? You: yeah dawg You: but it said that my hood was "closed" John H.: Is the modem currently connected directly to your computer? You: yeaaaaa dawg You: damn this joint is hot You: but my connection turned off, fool You: hey fool John H.: Which operating system is on your computer? You: fix this shiz fo' mea You: nd i'll hook ya punk ass up with a gram You: i gots the windows nigga You: windows EX PEE John H.: Let's check your IP address. In Windows, click on Start, Run, type in "command", then click on Ok. In the DOS window type in "ipconfig" then press Enter. What is the IP Address listed? You: aight You: my ip be 24.160.xx.xx You: yo gots dat, nigg? John H.: We'll test for packet loss together by running a ping. In the DOS window, type in "ping -n 50 www.yahoo.com" (without the quotes) then press Enter. This will ping Yahoo 50 times. When the ping is complete please copy the final results into the chat window. You: aight dawg You: it's goin' yo You: but it ain't stoppin You: buonce that ass John H.: We only need the summary at the end. You: aight You: it stopped yo You: whatcha need, brother? You: you need some hoes? You: i got them hoes too John H.: The summary which shows your percentage loss. You: it says 0%, yo You: but i still be disconnectin' You: ish messed up You: THIS SHIT IS WACK, FOO John H.: Yes, yes it is. You: i can't even beat off without gfetting disconnected John H.: Just a moment, and I will ping your IP to see what I get. You: aight yo You: i still got gram for yuo nigga You: just repair this shiz John H.: This will just take a moment. You: aight man You: let me tell ya this, son You: i've been through a lot of tech supportersa You: nd you be the best iv'e talked to You: i recognize dat, man John H.: Thank you. You: aight man You: i upgrade yo nigga ass to a O You: an ounce You: you'll love this John H.: I see a 12% loss when I ping your IP from here. You: it's called sweet minnesota You: what does dat mean, yo? John H.: Which cable modem and model do you use? You: i dropped out of school You: let me check niggag You: give me a second You: i have the PCX2200 John H.: That means your connection is having problems. When I send a signal to your computer the percentage loss should be closer to 0%. John H.: Thank you. You: ah thanks yo You: my teacher neva taught me that You: she fucked good tho John H.: May we have the MAC ID from the modem as well please? You: one sec yo You: 00-xx-A3-6E-xx-xx You: Yo? You: yo nig? John H.: Thank you. You: sorry man John H.: Yes. You: i'm talkin to you You: and this bitch ass disconnects You: imma get my gat soon You: he be disrespectin' John H.: May I have the MAC ID from the modem please? You: ah, nigga You: thought i sent it You: You: 00-xx-A3-6E-xx-xx John H.: Thank you. John H.: Please wait one moment while we create a trouble ticket for this issue. We will forward this ticket to our network specialists who will be able to help you solve this issue. Once the ticket is complete, I will give you the ticket number and phone number so that you may speak with them directly. You: aight yo You: will i be talkin' to you? You: you koo homie You: don't want no other nigga up on my grill John H.: Thank you, but I am not local to your area. You: damn nigga You: thta's cold, dog You: anyways, give me that train ticket John H.: It gets cold up here sometimes. John H.: Your ticket number is RQST00024466127. Do you need the local office number as well? You: yeah yo You: i need da digits to holla at John H.: The numbers are 713-335-3278 or 866-491-3045. John H.: Are there any other technical issues we may assist you with? You: will the 866 charge me, yo? You: if in da htown area You: (houston) John H.: No, 866 is toll free. You: thanks a lot foo You: i respect dat You: mad props to yo hood You: you be welcome in h-town anytime You: i gotta bounce and hit da digits now John H.: You should be fine if you call that number. John H.: Thank you. John H.: Have a nice day. John H.: If you have no further issues that we can assist you with, you may end the chat session by clicking on the Hang Up button and a chat transcript will be displayed for you. Once again thank you for choosing Road Runner! In an ongoing effort to continue improving our quality of service, we are conducting a customer survey. If you would like to participate, please copy and paste the following link into your browser: http://help.rr.com/html/chatsurvey.html . You: aight foo, i do that definately. He rocked so much. SUMMARY: The telephone tech support helped a little, but this John H. dude was smart and tolerant of the poverty-striken community. "mad propz yo." My response on the survey: Out of the five atetmpts of mine, this one representative, "John H.," stood out the most. Please take the time to view my logs... http://nubs.org/misc/tech.txt I have mocked a fake personality in order to ANNOY the technician and was not expecting a respectable conversation as "John H." has made with me. I would like you to recognize his tolerance and his support for my problem. Although it took a telephone call to learn the "recycling method," I have enjoyed talking to "John H." He deserved it. |