~~~~NUBS.ORG X-CLUSIVE
LLOLOLOLOL~~~~~
Hi, I’m
IT GETS BAD
I have
had a friend who I really didn’t talk to after a semester of knowing him because
he was…well…, for the lack of a better word, weird. Anyway, the terms of our friendship were solely
bound by a computer science course that we were taking together at the time,
but I don’t think he knew about what I thought was a mutual understanding. There
is so much more to this madness, but the rest of his background is potentially boring,
so I’ll save you the long read and get to the current stuff:
Early in the
summer of 2008, Harvey calls me for what I thought was just some small talk,
and he wanted to know if I could prove to him if Houston is better than Dallas,
referring to a claim I made back when we were in school. Sure, bud. So when he
asks if I can prove that for him sometime, I just acquiesced to this gesture,
honestly thinking nothing of it.
Weeks of
summer goes by. Randomly, he calls and says he bought a plane ticket. Fuck.
7/24/08:
Anyway, to
the point… Every night, since his parents did not let him bring his laptop for
reasons unclear, he would want to use my laptop to either look up pointless Blackberry
applications to litter his phone with OR to check walkthroughs to beat this
game for the PS2 that he brought to play. It sounded reasonable at the time, so
I let him. Without being tethered to the internet, I really had nothing else to
do but sleep. So that night I slept at 9.
Waking up
early in the morning (5 AM), I walk into my computer room and it smells like…jizz.
I isolate the smell to my wastebasket and find that ON TOP of some junk mail
that I ripped up yesterday, therein lie a bed of
tissues emitting that malodorous man-scent.
Gross
What the
fuck? Did he really have the nerve to…. No, I don’t
believe it.
BUT SURE
ENOUGH, when I checked the Guest account, its browsing history had been cleared.
It’s true. This faggot had the guts to start tugging it ON MY LAPTOP while I was
fast asleep. I know that beating off is normal, and it would’ve been fine if he
had the decency to do it in the shower or somewhere, anywhere that was discreet.
However, this was only his second night sleeping at my house, and he subconsciously
chooses to take his dick out for a walk while I’m obliged to dedicate a whole
weekend to him. Honestly, who the fuck does he think he is? Moreover, who the
fuck does he think I am?
Being grossed
the fuck out, I got to work that morning on plotting his punishment and placing
a keylogger on my computer came to mind. I found a suitable open-source
keylogger in C#, and fueled by anger, reprogrammed the code in a language I didn’t
know and completely redesigned everything for my purposes.
Within a few
hours, I made a keylogger that records keystokes AND window titles and outputs the
results into a readable HTML file every hour.
Fast forward…
Points to
note:
-
Having
been awake since 5 AM, I decided to take a nap
-
His
preference of food for that night was Chinese, so I took him to a Chinese
buffet
-
Logs
and some blatantly obvious physical evidence show that he jerked off again that
day while I napped
Fuck, more tissues?
-
With
further investigation, I saw in the logs that he had been looking at Asian porn
sites at 7 PM, which was approximately an hour before we left to go eat…Chinese
food.
That night I
defended my computer like the
5 hours
later, I wake to see Harvey acting strangely—not that he normally doesn’t, but much
more reserved this time around. I guess he’s just reacting to the Guest account
being off. Later in the day, I find two sheets of tissue delicately placed on
my desk next to the laptop, as if he were to commit yet another sin that
morning. Fucker.
I’m sorry for that lengthy read, but
it all culminates to this two minute dialogue, which took place on the last day
of his stay while I drove him to the airport.
Please thoroughly enjoy:
At this point of the conversation, I
am on the last stretch of terminal B departures at IAH. Read along with harvowned.mp3
[Talking about his girlfriend Lizzy]
Daniel: Don’t you two lovebirds want to see each
other?
We see each other every Wednesday.
Daniel: Every Wednesday? Is that like a set date that your
parents set?
H: No, we go to church
D: Wednesday’s
church?
H: Yeah
D: Who
the fuck goes to church on Wednesdays?
H: Who the fuck doesn’t
believe in god?
D: A
lot of people, actually
H: Who the fuck goes to
a preacher and say, “Hey I’m a Buddhist” [Yes,
I did this when I went to his church in
D: I
do.
I
don’t respect anyone who believe in something so false and so wrong at the same
time
H: You’re
like my brother in so many ways
D: I am
like your brother
But
unlike your brother, I’m not as…tolerable
H: But
he acts just like you, and you act just like him [WAHHHHH WAHH FAMILY IZZUEZ T_TT_T_T_T_T_T]
D: Really now?
Do
you act like him?
H: No,
I don’t
<< Brief pause >>
D: It must
be lonely, huh?
H: Who?
D: You.
H: Why?
D: You
didn’t have Lizzy for a while [She is in a boot
camp in
H: What
are you talking about?
D: I’m
just saying, man
<< Another brief pause >>
D: Why’d
you jack off? … with my laptop?
H: I
didn’t jack off with your laptop
D: Are you
sure about that?
H: I’m
pretty sure that I didn’t jack off with your laptop
D: Are you
sure? Is that why I found tissues there?
H: The
tissues were there because I had a wet nose
I
could’ve, uh, sneezed all over your laptop, THEN you
would’ve thought that I jacked off all over your laptop [This faggot is a quick thinker with lies, but that only]
D: That’s
true, but I’m pretty sure you jacked off with my laptop
H: I’m
pretty sure that I didn’t jack off with your laptop
D: Are you
sure about that?
There
you go. [I hand him a cleanly folded and stapled
copy of a 5-page keylogger
log of him caught in the act]
H: What
is this?
D: “Teens
fucking”? Is that right?
H: No.
D: When I
woke up one morning my fucking room smelled like jizz all over, man. It was
pretty disgusting.
H: Cool.
D: And I looked
in the trash can with all your tissues and shit
So…Please
don’t do that again. Have some respect for peoples’ property, especially
computers and rooms at places you’re visiting.
You
tried to do that this morning, but I closed the guest account.
I’m
smarter than you think.
<< We finally approach the gate. I stop the car and open the door.
>>
D: Let’s
get this over with.
H: All
righhhhht!
<< He takes his shit from the trunk and leaves without saying
anything. >>
IT GETS BETTER
I didn’t think what I said was
enough, as I was rushed by my own nervousness, so I sent a text on the drive
home from the airport to express the rest of my feelings that did not make it
verbally:
------ SMS Text ------
To: 214695**** ß
Harvey
Sent: Jul 28, 2008 7:05 PM
Subject: So that's probably why your...
So that's probably why your parents
didn't let you bring your laptop. The weekend would've gone much better for the
both of us had I not found out about your rampant hormones running about under
my household. As a rule of thumb, don't.EVER AGAIN mistake my hospitality for a
justification to satisfy your sexual urges without discretion, you sick fuck. Have a safe flight! :-)
oh and how is negotiating your cheating appeal with
SFA going?
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
Explanation on “oh and how is negotiating your cheating appeal with SFA
going?”
As a result of my keylogging, I got
the password to his GMail account… And after some harmless peeping, we found
this:
(Source: Gmail Account)
from Doc
<sev*****@suddenlink.net>
to mar****@titan.sfasu.edu
cc r****@sfasu.edu
date Tue,
Apr 22, 2008 at 5:42 PM
subject Grade
mailed-by TITAN.SFASU.EDU
Option #1
We can go with the grade as it
stands.
Option #2
You were accessing the periodic table on your
calculator when I picked it up. Among
other things, your calculator lists the names of the elements. Thus, you were accessing nomenclature on an
exam with nomenclature questions. This
is the same as a person looking at a paper with the names of the elements on it
in order to do better on the nomenclature.
Looking at names of elements = cheating.
This means that I can enforce Section IV, Paragraph 8 on the Syllabus.
Which option do you want?
R.H. Langley
Reply
Dr. Langley,
After thoroughly looking at the
syllabus and reading the note put on the re-test I have a few questions
regarding the reason for the neglecting to put a grade on the exam. I apologize
for the misconstrued actions that you thought were taking place on the exam. I
did not and would not cheat on the exam. After reading the syllabus in section
IV part 10 is states:
The presence of other material
in the calculator is a form of cheating. In addition, you should clear all
constants/conversions/ equations from your calculators memory.
According to your syllabus anything
on the calculator may be construed as cheating. My calculator was fitted with
an internal program that gave the time, and the date. I now acknowledge that
under the circumstance of this situation you may be obliged to assume the worse,
but I implore that you look at my previous record with you.
I do not want to fool you in any way
and I know that under the present situation you have the right to do any thing
that you see fit in regards to my grade.
Another thing that confuses me is
that on the first exam there was not a note that specified that I must speak
with the professor, or consult him on the exam. After looking at the exam:
Your browser may not support display
of this image.
I saw a 0(zero) in the place that you
normally place a grade for the exam, I must say that I thought that there was a
mistake and when I realized that you had presumed a particular idea, so I
consulted the syllabus for reference. Under Section III part 3 is states:
Harvey E. Marquis III
ANOTHER EMAIL
from Michael
A. Janusa <janu*****@sfasu.edu>
to mar*****@titan.sfasu.edu
date Mon,
Apr 28, 2008 at 4:37 PM
subject issue
with Dr. Langley
mailed-by TITAN.SFASU.EDU
hide details Apr 28
Reply
I discussed the issue with Dr.
Langley. In my opinion, this issued has
not officially been discussed between you and Dr. Langley. I believe the first step is for you and Dr.
Langley to meet face-to-face and discuss the issue. This meeting will allow you
can to confront Dr. Langley as to what you are being accused of doing and you
can plea your case.
If the issue is not resolved, you
will need to submit in writing to me and fully address the following points:
1. Detailed explanation of the issue.
2. Detailed account of requests/conversations/emails with the instructor
about the issue. Give complete details
of what you stated or presented to the instructor and complete details of the
instructor’s response or actions.
3. Detailed explanation of what
you are actually requesting from the department and why you feel it is
justifiable. In other words, indicate
what you would consider a fair resolution of the complaint, with supporting
reasons.
Michael A. Janusa, Ph.D.
Professor and Chair
SFASU Chemistry Department
etc etc. There’s a lot more shit, but it
gets boring. Eventually, Dr. Janusa ends it with:
from Michael
A. Janusa <jan******@sfasu.edu>
to Harvey
Marquis <tr******@gmail.com>
cc Anthony
Duben <du**** @sfasu.edu>
date Wed,
May 7, 2008 at 2:28 PM
subject Re:
issue with Dr. Langley
After carefully reviewing the
information provided by you and Dr. Langley, it appears to me that the periodic
table was displayed on the screen of your calculator during the exam and would
have aided you on the test if used. It
is for this reason that the sanction imposed by Dr. Langley is justifiable.
You may appeal this decision by
writing a cover letter describing the incident to Dean Duben. I will forward all the information that you
have given me including all of our emails to Dr. Duben.
I wish you success on the rest of
your finals and your career after SFA.
Dr. Michael A. Janusa
Michael A. Janusa, Ph.D.
Professor and Chair
SFASU Chemistry Department
Ouch! Good luck with that, you idiot.
IT GETS WORSE
Oh yeah and his girlfriend Lizzy that he’s ever so faithful to? She ain’t
his only girlfriend.
NOTE:
Ho #1: There’s a chick named
Elise that he’s been with while dating Lizzy
(Source: Facebook)
Elise D***
March 25 at 12:57am
I forgot to tell you about the
interesting dream about us. I had gone to visit you at your house which you
called your club house, I don't know why you called it that but it was your
club house. You lived with a group of guys that were like your closest friends
and brothers. The place reminded me of something out of Peter Pan. Your club
house was made entirely of wooden logs, it looked really cool. I suck at
describing things ^-^ and at explaining things. In the dream you and I spent as
much time together as possible. I run into your arms and hugged you and I
didn't let go and you held on to me, then you kissed me. After our kiss, we
just hung out and acted like silly kids, running around playing tag with your
buddies and just having a great time. I rather enjoyed my dream and I'm so
looking forward to you coming down here for the weekend when you can. lol this is the longest message I've ever written. Oh check
your PO Box friday or saturday :-) and hopefully it
will be there. There is something special about you, you make me feel like no
one else has ever made me feel, like when you said you love me tonight before
you went to bed. I was speechless and I was blushing I could feel it ^-^. I
must get to sleep too, good night sweetheart :-) *hug and kisses*
Harvey Marquis
March 25 at 12:30pm
Well you were right, that was the
longest message that i have seen you write since i have been with you. I told
you that i would write you a long message and if you want i will. I miss you so
much and can't wait to see you in two weeks. That is going to be so much fun. ^.^ You know? I have been so much happier around people
eversince i asked you out, people have noticed and i realized that it was
becasue of how special you are to me. I hope that have a wonderful day. I here
at the AARC and im just using the computer getting ready to go tutor, illlet
you go for now ill tlak to you later. Bye Love.
Elise D***
March 26 at 12:10am
I am falling so deep and fast for you
it has me scared. I want to give you everything and be your supporting girl, I
want to be the one that holds you up when you are down, who makes you soup when
you are sick, you cheers you on when you have a tough task ahead of you, give
you a back rub after a hard day at work or in class. I haven't felt like this
in many years. Honestly, I don't know what to think. I told my friends about my
feelings for you and they say its a good thing and I
agree, I just don't want to lose you. I want to be there always...so much that
I am looking into going back to SFA...what do you think?
Elise D***
March 28 at 1:49am
:D you own me :P
Harvey Marquis
March 28 at 1:50am
you own me i love you
Elise D***
March 28 at 1:51am
I love you too :-) I can't sleep as
if you couldn't tell by my being up so late
Harvey Marquis
March 28 at 1:57am
yahoo messanger
Elise D***
March 28 at 10:52am
good morning handsome! :-) have a great
day, I Love U!!!!!! :-)
Harvey Marquis
March 28 at 11:00am
Good morning to you too love. I hope
you have a good day off. If you find the chance to make it here just let me
know
Sent via Facebook Mobile
Elise D***
March 29 at 1:27am
I love you my dear!!!!! :-) I will
let you know what the plan is when I know, lol. I hope you sleep well. I'll
talk to you in the morning :-) Hugs and Kisses :-)
Harvey Marquis
March 29 at 11:21am
hello love, do you have any idea when you
are coming over. just wondering
Elise D***
March 30 at 8:53pm
Hey love :-) I hope your dinner was
delicious and that you are happy and healthy :D
I"m home so call when you have time or want to take a break from your
homework, sorry I distracted you :-)
Elise D***
March 30 at 10:01pm
ok so I wish I was there and I want to
just talk to you about a lot of stuff, but at the same time I feel really
really bad, like its my fault you have so much homework to do tonight. I'll be
on yahoo and I'll find a way to stay off face book :D
(Source: GMail)
Sent: Sunday, May 11, 2008 1:37:41 AM
Subject: details lol
Well, I'm not a math wiz but I can do
a few simple calculations. If I want to go back to SFA in the fall I will first
have to pay the school back 1433.21 with a loan from my own bank in my name or
at least that is what the lady told me when I went to her office on Wednesday.
If I get the loan and everything goes well with that then there is the fight to
get my financial aid back which is going to require me to write a letter
explaining why I left SFA last semester and why I want to come back along with
a form I have to fill out. If they approve of my
appeal and give me my financial aid back then I might be all right, if not then
I have to come up with about 13,000.00 which will cover both semesters assuming
I take only 12 hours. That is school...doesn't count the car-350/mo,
insurance-140/mo, hospital-60/mo, my 2 credit cards, my phone, gas, random
things like tires, birthdays, or nights out. Needless to say I'm highly
stressed because I don't make that much money. I wasn't expecting to have to
pay for my car insurance...I told you my parents were going to pay for it and
well they dropped the ball on that one so yea I have to pay for that too. I'm
getting a second job so I can hopefully pay off my credit cards for good and
not have to worry about those bills ever again. My second job will also help
pay off my hospital bills faster and help me save money for school. My main job
at Walgreens will pay for my car, insurance, gas, and also hopefull help save
for school. This coming Tuesday I will be job hunting and going by my bank to
see what they can help me do as far as school is concerned. I
hoping for the best of news to come back to you with. So yes I am trying
but with no moral support and no one to lean physically lean on when the day is
tough, makes all that I'm trying to do seem almost
pointless. I take my test on friday, studying my butt
off for it hoping to do well. Wish me the best of luck. I feel like the world
has been dumped on me and no one warned me it was coming my way. Other than my
financial and job situation, I have my emotional issues to deal with. You know
how my last relationship went...I have so much to get over and rearrange. I
don't know what all I told you, but it was really bad none the less. So
learning to trust and love again is difficult and I hop eyou understand that
there will be times when I just break down. I'm doing my best to...I dunno...
"get better" lol :-) Oh I might have to go
see a psychologist everyonce in a while if I go back to SFA...dunno if you know
why, if not then ask me its a long and sad story lol. I feel like I have a ton
of stuff that I should tell you about, but at this time of the morning I can't
think of anything. My dad wants to meet you by the way... :D
He asked when you were coming down to visit. lol I'm pretty sure that my parents have
figured out that you are my boyfriend. ^_^ Well
sweety I'll let you know how everything goes. I love you and will
hopefully see you soon. Good luck with summer school and all that fun stuff.
Ho #2: Britni: Heroin addict? I
have no idea…
(Source: Yahoo! Mail)
Email 1
well harvey this be britni from the
bowling alley at amf lewisville, hopefully you still know where that is, maybe
if i can get off of some of my homework then we can go to the bowling alley
together...... the sad thing is that NO ONE MUST KNOW. i
really shouldnt even be talking to you....... as you can see i got the email to
work!lol. ummm...... are you still at
ciao,
Email 2
From: hannah
b***
To: havey marquis
Sent: Monday, December 11, 2006
1:01:30 PM
Subject: X-MAS
OMG!!!!!!!!
only9 billion words to say in so little
time!!!
well just 2 lrt u no i feel sickened
about x mas!
you cant o im sorry WONT come downhere
just so that 2 little kids can have a smile on there face when they see u 4 x
mas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
just b cuz britt. cant
be
o wait ill keep them away also!!!!u sick fug bug!!!
its ok i have plans 4 jan.!me and u r ganna have so much fun!!!
& if i were u i would write back
so that when u come down i will have a smile on my face enstade of a grin!!!!
i hope u come soon!!!!
Email 3
im really sorry that you dont beleive
me, but i dont blame you. this was pretty weird and
out of the ordinary, but not for me. harvey, before i tell you the story i will
have to tell other things about my past: when i was about 7 or 8 my step-mom was
abusing me and i dont talk about it often.....when i was in 7th grade, my
ex-boyfriend was in the house with me and jessica, but she left the room at
night and he came in, you can figure out what happened next, he told me to
never tell anybody, but i finally did......you. now, i have been stalked by a
man once in my life, his name was Fredrick Walter and he was around 38ish years
old, once again i dont normally talk about these things and i havent ever
talked about it......there are many things hidden behind my smile.
ok so about what happened the other
night, as you know i was locked out of my house and tried the back door, well
the gate was open and the lock on the door was broken, i entered the house
causiously of course and searched the living room, then went to the kitchen and
then i heard a bang and grabbed a nife and went up stairs thinking it could
just be the dogs or something, but it wasnt it was a guy, i dont know who this
guy was, but he was going through my clothes in my dresser, i ran back down the
stairs and ran through the street trying to find help, but i when i found the
first house they told me to get my drunk a&& home. so
now im pretty much walking in the street with a big nife in my hand and i
dropped my cell phone somewhere in the house..... so i walked home and began
thinking maybe its just grandpa david or someone and calmly walked in the
house, went back up stairs and found out that it wasnt him or anyone that i
know...... he turned around and saw me and called me by name and he called you
slugger or something like that (watch your back), he told to not scream or he
would kill me and you, he then grabbed me and tried taking my clothes off and i
hit him where it hurts, the nose and the gutt right in the center and he
hunched over and i tried to run, but he caught my foot, which is in a rap, i
dont know what he did but it hurt and i am usually tough with pain, i punched
him a few times and have bruises on my hands, my foot and on my side, he
finally restrained me and forced me to give him a blow job, this is the reason
i didnt want to tell you about this, for fear that you would be
"hunted" is the way i put it. im sorry if
this changes your mind about me in any way, i hope this wont hurt our
relationship at all. i didnt mean to make you feel
like i was liing to you, trust me, im not, im a not the kind of person to lie
about something this bad or pretty much anything for that matter. if you want to break up, it wouldnt be the first time
someone did for these things, im sorry, i hope you will forgive me. i love you.
*Brit*
….. what the fuck?..........................
Ho #3: Jasmine. Now this ho is
smart, but still foolish for going after him…
(Source: Yahoo! Mail)
I guess I'll do better at writing
than I did with words..
In all the times that I've known you,
it was the little things that bothered me and I never wanted to ask you the
real questions because I want to believe you when you say you don't want to hurt
me. I think you are a good person, I really do, and I know you try. But even
now, I still have some lingering doubts about your honesty. I can't put your
words (no matter how reassuring you sound) over my feelings. I think deep down
only I can say when things are alright between us.
I hear you when you say you're sorry
for the ways things are now, but would you really call what we had a
"relationship?" Yes, I know we had to hide from everyone, but even
when we were alone I could never label you "my boyfriend" and I think
you realized that, too. I couldn't call us something we were not. That doesn't
mean that I didn't love you in a romantic sort of way. I do love you and that's
why I try to keep in touch every once in while which brings me to another issue..
I'm trying to be your friend now but
that's something that I've always tried for ...like...you didn't want to be my
friend on MySpace and before that, you wouldn't be my friend on Facebook. When
I call, more often than not you don't answer. When I tried to get us to do
something outside of Panda Express, you always had other plans. I've watched
you run away from me. And then you come to my work and tell me that I can't
e-mail you because your parents don't want you talking to me. Would you have
even given me this address if I hadn't asked for it? I once said, "I don't
know how this is supposed to work anymore."
So apart from me feeling
neglected/unwanted (take your pick), I guess I suspected that at the same time
we were keeping ourselves a secret, you were keeping secrets from me. Please
don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about, okay?....
Last week, when we talked, I wasn't
asking you to break up with your girlfriend. I said what I said and I can't
really take it back and now I don't know where I belong in your life.
I'm not sure how sincere you are
because what you say and what you do are two completely different things. I
feel like I've said that before. You say you know who I am but I think I know
you, too- the good and the bad. I know I should have been more
clear about this a long time ago and maybe some things would never have
happened.
When you came to Starbucks the other
day, I was really happy to see you. I really was.
-Jasmine
Well folks, that’s three documented hoes. God knows if there are any
more. Come back next time!